Living with Stepparent: How/Boundaries/Merit and Demerit of Stepparent

Living with Stepparent

Living with Stepparent: How/Boundaries/Merit and Demerit of Stepparent

Living with Stepparent; A parent who is married to the father or mother of a child, but who is not that child’s own father or mother; a stepfather or stepmother:

Sixteen percent of families in the high school group and 20% of families in the psychiatric group consisted of one biological parent and one step-parent.

Many children whose parents are in new relationships feel insecure and might think their parent loves their new spouse more than they love them.

How to become a good Stepparent

  • Put needs, not wants, first. Kids need love, affection.
  • Start Slow
  • Create new family traditions
  • Don’t use kids as messengers
  • Talk to your partner or spouse.

Boundaries that step parents should not cross.

  • Talking negatively about your spouse’s ex: It is always important to remember that the other parent is still the parent who, hopefully, has the child’s best interests at heart. No matter how much you disagree with the other parent, or how angry he/she gets you, it is important to never bad mouth him/her to the children.
  • Disciplining your stepchildren :This is that line not to cross that just might not seem fair. It might be easy to get caught up in the anger and intensity of an argument, but it is better to keep your cool, walk away and wait to speak to your spouse about what happened. 
  • Trying to take the place of your spouse’s ex: Depending on the circumstances, the other parent might not be in the child’s life (death, significant mental illness, etc). This does not give you permission to then slip into the role of “Mom.” The child has a mom and it is not you.
  • Putting yourself in the middle between you spouse and his/her children: While it might be tempting to try to get on the kids’ good side by disagreeing with your spouse, this is not a good idea and will backfire at some point.

Advantage of Stepparent

  • The family may have better quality of life
  • Enjoy high standard of living
  • Feel more Secure and Safe
  • The more family members, the more support you have.
  • It can lead to more problem-solving skills.
  • You are always going to receive honest answers.

Disadvantage of Stepparent

  • It can lead to bitter sibling Jealousy/ rivalries.
  • It can create moments of identity confusion
  • Stepfamilies typically experience more legal disputes
  • Children may find it difficult to adapt
  • Discipline some child can cause resentment
  • Kids can have mixed feelings about their stepparent.
  • One partner may not like the other partner child.
  • Unresolved Issue: Parent may bring issues from their past relationships to the parenting

By Olalekan Awodehinde

Olalekan Awodehinde is a seasoned investigative reporter.

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