The “Danfo“ bus is a passenger bus that operates in Lagos and carries approximately 16-18 passengers. They play an essential role in the lives of millions of Lagosians, including myself (I used to board 7 of them on average every week whilst I was younger, growing up in Nigeria).
As much as these Danfo Buses are useful, most of we the passengers have lots of tales of woes to tell and sometimes the drama is not necessarily from the crazy Danfo drivers and their conductors. It is from the well “interesting” passengers. Lagos is full of different people, and entering a danfo with one or two or even five of them is one sure way to encounter Lagos in a small way.
These buses carry a mix of characters i.e. “The gentle”, “The angry, “The born-again” (aka serious Christians) and so on. Are you ready to find yourself among this list below or at least to be entertained (if this whole concept and experience is new to you as you are chauffeur -driven)
We came up with a list of Ten people you’ll probably meet when you board a danfo. Which one of them do you recognise?
1. THE SCREAMERS
Are you that passenger that is always with N1000 or N500 note for just a N50 bus fare? Then when the conductor proceeds to give you change less that N50, you would start screaming at the top of your voice for N50 change? Please behave yourself please, everyone is looking for change so please find your change before entering and disturbing us or didn’t you hear “enter with your change?”
2. THE PREACHER
Sometimes, you won’t even know they are there. Until you hear, “Let somebody shout Halleluyah!” and you realise it’s time for “danfo” devotion.
They literally turn the entire trip into a complete Sunday service with testimony and offering. Telling them to be quiet will be like telling God you don’t want to hear his word so you just suck it up #NoOneIsReadyToOffendGodHere
3. THE WOMAN WITH A BATTALION OF CHILDREN.
“Bros abeg, help me put this one for your leg. Thank you, ehn. God go bless you plenty.” madam cucu pay for full package .
4. THE LYING LIONS
The confident way this person will keep lying to the person on the other side of the phone that he is at “Jibowu” when in fact he is in “Festac” would surprise you. You would even want to be double check that you boarded the right bus.
5. THE AMEBO
You would think you and this person went to the store together and bought 50% of your phone. They have no shame in ogling at your chats or whatever you are doing with your phone at that particular time. They always want to see what you’re doing on your phone, Some even have the audacity to give some advice based on your personal chats. They can tell you to wait for them to finish reading that tweet you’re reading. Imagine the audacity.
6. THE SLEEPERS
If it’s around 5am-7am, it’s acceptable to sleep but for those who use their heads to disturb people’s shoulders at 12pm or 6pm, I tire! You entered the bus single and now you have bae. If you are one of those who can’t but sleep, please do it with swag aka style. Don’t always hit your head on the person in front or beside you. Remember, you are not in the four corners of your home. Biko repent!
7. THE SELLERS.
These ones are the danfo-preneurs. They sell everything from cough syrup to hair boosters to cure for ulcer and big yansh creams. All for two hundred and fifty naira. Weidone ma!
8. THE BUS REPS.
These ones are doing God’s work, (team “Good people
Great Nation) to be honest. They are the ones who will gather all the money for the driver and ensure everyone gets their change. May God bless them for us.
9. THE ARGUERS
You won’t even know what caused the argument. Before you know it, you will just start hearing noise “Buhari is this…”, “Sanwo olu is that…”. Please, if you are one of them, stop disturbing the Danfo community and if you are just an onlooker, please don’t interfere o, because before you know it someone can start breaking bottles.
10. The fighters
( danfo bus Shaun Michael and Anthony Joshua)
One out of five danfo bus always have that free “staples center” free boxing fights between drivers and agberos and even passengers and conductors.
My mantra whenever I used to enter the Danfo bus was to respect myself, hold my change, plug my earphones in my ears and listen to my music. No drama for me please.
Which category do you belong to? Got any Danfo Bus story? Sharing is caring *winks*
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